By appointment to no one in particular · Complimentary-ish shipping · Returns entertained

AveragePurveyors of adequate goods

Est. recently · Maison of the middle

Every day should feel this fine.

Purveyors of thoroughly average goods for the discerning-enough. No mission. No heritage to speak of. We have always been fine, and we intend to remain so.

Shop the ReserveOur modest lineage
· Perfectly Fine ·
The Standard
Customer rating
3.0 / 5.0
Percentile
50th
Comportment
Fine

The Collection · Six Articles

Objects of modest distinction.

Each article performs one duty, acceptably. Photography forthcoming, eventually.

No. I

Gray T-Shirt

$24.00

A shirt. It is grey.

Woven, we are assured, of cotton. It fits in the manner of shirts. Launderable, and inclined to shrink a touch.

Provenance: somewhereAcquire
No. II

Contains Beverage

$16.00

A vessel of ceramic.

It holds approximately one beverage, in the manner of vessels. A handle is provided for the holding.

Capacity: oneAcquire
No. III

Size: Probably

$44.00

A hooded garment.

Of moderate warmth. It shall fit most persons, statistically. A pocket at the front accommodates the hands, or nothing.

Warmth: moderateAcquire
No. IV

Bag for Things

$18.00

A canvas tote.

For the conveyance of one's things, up to a reasonable weight. It opens at the top, as bags tend to.

Bearing: adequateAcquire
No. V

Head Unit

$22.00

A cap for the head.

It obscures a portion of the sun, as caps do. An adjustable strap accommodates heads of near-average circumference.

Fit: adjustable-ishAcquire
No. VI

A Sticker

$4.00

An adhesive of vinyl.

It affixes to flat surfaces — laptops, bottles, and the like. Results, as ever, may vary.

Adhesion: acceptableAcquire

From the membership · Avg. 3.0

Notes of measured approval.

★★★☆☆
“Perfectly acceptable. One does not complain. One simply moves along.”
A Gentleman, presumably
★★★☆☆
“It arrived in a box. The box, too, was of a fine and forgettable character.”
Mrs. R. · verified-ish
★★★☆☆
“I had expected the middle, and the middle is precisely what I received.”
The Commodore
★★★☆☆
“One star withheld out of habit. The other three, freely given.”
M. · a member

Our Heritage

We have always aimed for themiddle.

There is no founder's tale. No atelier in the mountains. No grandmother, no recipe, no reluctant genius. We simply make fine things, finely priced, for people who are also fine. We have been average since recently, and we should like to remain so — with your permission, and even without it.

A modest confession

On Manufacture.

In the interest of the transparency our position frankly requires: we do not make any of this ourselves. Somewhere, a far more competent party prints, presses, and packs each article the moment you order it — by which point our involvement has long since concluded. We chose the pigeon. We selected the colours. We wrote, at some length, these words. The rest is handled by professionals, as the important things so often are. A lesser house might be embarrassed. We find that we are not. It is, like everything else here, perfectly fine.

The Journal

Notes from the middle.

Insight, of a kind, into running an average internet brand.

The full Journal →

Members only, technically

The Average Club.

Membership is complimentary, automatic, and confers nothing. You are already a member. Congratulations, sort of.

Terms of Membership
Membership
Complimentary & automatic
Enrolment
You are already in
Privileges
Confers nothing
Card
Should we ever print one

Correspondence

We would rather you didn't.

Every house of standing keeps a mailing list; so, reluctantly, do we. We shall write rarely, and about nothing. Your inbox is better left undisturbed. But the box is here, should you insist.